JOY

Dear Junebug,

We are finally getting to the good stuff when this story really starts moving!

The act of tapping the "send" button for that application seemed so tiny, so simple. That teensy act began a big snowball of events. But before that snowball hardly even got rolling... JOY broke into my heart! The idea of what that application meant began to sink in... we were now EXPECTING A CHILD! I think it may have only taken a few minutes before we realized the worlds of possibilities that we had just opened up! We were going to be parents! We were going to finally grow our family! And, not only that, but I had the joy of knowing I had finally listened to all the things God had placed in my life, and I had obeyed. It was a wonderful feeling! I imagine women who find out they are going to grow babies in their tummy probably feel very similarly to how I felt that day. It was time to dream and prepare. But for a while, I just enjoyed soaking in this new truth. I was going to be a mama.

When you have good news, you just want to share it with the whole world. There have been a few times when I've felt this. I shouted out "we are engaged" as your Daddy and I walked down the street right after he had proposed. The day I graduated college, there isn't a single photo of me where I'm not smiling ear to ear. Sometimes you just have to share your joy. I envied women who had bellies sticking out that declared their anticipation and joy of being pregnant to the whole world! I wanted a sign across my chest that said "I'm Expecting A Child Too!" I wanted to tell strangers! I wanted to talk about it with the clerks at the grocery store, and the barista at our favorite coffee shop.

So, like anyone with good news, we started calling friends and family to share our joy!

That part was probably a little bit different than when other belly-mamas tell people they are expecting. Some people didn't jumped up and down and squeal with excitement when we told them our news. And it wasn't because they weren't excited about being a part of your life, my dear. Quite the opposite. They were probably a little hesitant because they knew that being a foster-family can sometimes be really hard. Because they loved daddy and I, some of them were worried. They were afraid they might have to see us get hurt if you didn't stay with us. They might have been afraid for their own hearts a little too. We did get some squeals of joy with our news (which I loved!). But no matter what their first reactions were when our friends and family heard you were coming, they all took a risk right along with us. They jumped right in and fell in love with you (who couldn't, really!) even though they didn't have a guarantee that they'd always get to be in your life. You've got a great group of people who love you, kiddo.

Things started rolling pretty quickly from there. It was time to learn, prepare, and get ready!